


Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

by DenebYL



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Comfort, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-28
Updated: 2018-06-28
Packaged: 2019-05-29 21:36:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15082235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DenebYL/pseuds/DenebYL
Summary: Ren talks about being a stand up comedian.Akechi's just... amused.





	Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

**Author's Note:**

> ren can dish it all out but HE CAN'T TAKE IT THANKS FOR COMING TO MY TED TALK AYE
> 
> Can be seen as a companion fic to the uber driver AU (Drove Past You) because of like ONE mention of Ren quitting his previous job and I'm here like GUYS HE QUIT BEING AN UBER DRIVER THIS IS THE CONTINUATION

“Really?” Akechi questioned, a pitiful smile on his lips and an eyebrow raised.

“Like I said, I want to give it a shot.” Ren made finger gun gestures, grinning. “You will have to judge me and my jokes.”

“But a _stand-up comedian_?” The other man put down the book he was reading. “I know you just quit your job, but I think this is a bit too early for a mid-life crisis.”

“But _sweetie_ , when else, if not now?”

“The mid-life crisis? Maybe, 20 years from now.”

“Bold of you to assume I’m here for a long time.” Ren deadpanned.

“Because you’re here for a good time, we all get it.” He sighed. “…Alright, lay it on me.”

Ren let out a short giggle, then stood from his seat and sat next to Akechi. Without any warning, he was lying down on Akechi’s chest.

“I hope this isn’t part of your setlist.”

“Maybe it is?” Ren snuggled up closer to him, faces now inches apart.

“Disappointing. I have to say, I’m not laughing.”

Akechi kept his neutral expression, still staring at Ren.

“Anything I can say or _do_ to change your mind?”

He pressed a chaste kiss onto Akechi’s lips.

“Tempting, but I don’t see anything that could change my mind.”

“Rude.” Ren manoeuvred so that he was sitting up once again, and put his hands on the part of the couch just by Akechi’s shoulders. “Nothing, really?”

“…I’m changing my mind.”

He put one of his hands up and cupped Ren’s cheek, slightly pulling Ren towards him. Then he leaned closer, and Ren could feel Akechi’s lips were almost on his – so he decided to reciprocate by leaning closer, but within a swift second there was a finger between both their lips.

“This is a terrible show.”

Ren pouted.

“You should know that no one likes a tease.”

“Ah… But you do.” Akechi winked.

“Do I?” He turned to the side, and planted a faint kiss on Akechi’s cheek. He seemed lost in thought for a few seconds, and placed butterfly kisses around his chin. “Maybe… Maybe I just really like kissing you.”

Akechi’s response to the sudden kiss was a light chuckle, tinges of pink now on his cheeks. Ren’s lips curved into a sly smirk, and started placing more trails of kisses down Akechi’s neck.

“Is there something you want from me?” He asked, squirming a little bit under Ren’s touch as he started feeling ticklish. “Some sort of grand dinner, perhaps?”

“I…” Ren stopped in his tracks, and fiddled with one of Akechi’s shirt buttons. “Maybe.”

“I’ll either listen to your jokes, or make you dinner.”

“…Well, I’ll…” He looked to the side, lost in thought, and leaned in on Akechi’s ear to whisper to him.

Akechi’s expression only changed slightly – from neutral to intrigued.

“…As intrigued as I am, I’ll still only do one.”

As a form of protest, Ren flicked Akechi’s ponytail, pouting again.

“Maybe if my joke was _really_ good, then?”

“I seriously would like to enquire as to where all this self-esteem comes from.”

“I just know I’m funny.”

“Why are you so convinced this joke is going to wow me?”

“Ha, it will.” Ren grinned. “Ready?”

The detective simply nodded, patting Ren’s head. In response, Ren pat Akechi’s shoulder and he then stood up, walking to the other side of the coffee table. He was pretending as if he was getting on stage.

“Good evening, detective prince Goro Akechi.”

“…You can just cut straight to the joke.” Akechi sat up.

“Heckler.” Ren put a hand up by his cheek, as if he were shouting, and booed him. “Anyway, as you definitely know, I am currently dating a detective.”

He raised an eyebrow, and crossed his arms.

“Recently I told him this… old joke. But it’s a good one. Basically you ask, what do you call a small spirit channelling expert on the run?”

Akechi groaned, remembering what the answer was.

“He was stumped, and I was pretty sure that hit his ego. When I told him that it was small medium at large, he glared daggers at me and threatened to make a worse joke.”

Ren shrugged.

“He came up to me two days later, and told me that he’s basically found it. The worst joke to beat all my other jokes.” His eyes widened, nodding. “Obviously, I didn’t believe him.”

“Boo.” Akechi mouthed.

“…Stared me down, and he asked me ‘Why did the chicken cross the road?’… A classic. Can’t go wrong.” Ren pointed at Akechi, a sudden confidence beaming from his eyes. It was one that looked like it said ‘I’m so proud of my boyfriend’, but it faded as quickly as it surfaced, and he deadpanned.

“Turns out you can go wrong. I asked why it did, and he basically told me that the chicken crossed the road because, according to him... simply because it could.”

Akechi raised both his hands slightly.

“It _was_ meant to be the worst of the worst.”

Ren puffed his cheeks, leaning towards Akechi.

“But that’s against the rules, _sweetie_.”

“There are no rules. You’re just jealous I actually did it.” Akechi put both his hands around Ren’s neck, and held him closer, foreheads touching.

“As if.” Ren scoffed, and pushed Akechi back onto the sofa as he straddled him, pouting.

The detective smiled, and let out a laugh.  
Putting his arms around Ren’s waist this time, Akechi had a small smile on his face as he looked directly into the other man’s eyes.

“What?” Ren’s expression turned soft, then planting a quick kiss on his lips. “Something on your mind, _detective_?”  
His expression was soft – it was affectionate, and it was loving.

The moment that Ren’s eyes met his, he noted that it was as if Akechi’s eyes reflected nothing else but love.

The same way the people of the past loved the night sky, harbouring admiration and fondness for the jet black heavens.

The same way the waters of the world loved the shore, reaching out for as much as it can, and the sands themselves were generous as it gave all it had, and so much more.

It was the same – the exact same way that he feels for him, he thinks.

Though he was so lost in thought that he had failed to notice the moment that Akechi had leaned in to press a chaste kiss on his lips, much to Ren’s surprise.

Akechi chuckled, and asked.

“You look surprised.”

Ren responded with a small smile on his lips.

“…Ladies and gentlemen, did you know that love is weird?”

“Weird how?”

“It’s definitely weird…” He pursed his lips. “It’s weird how it makes you want to spend your whole life with one person.”

“…Is that a proposal?” He raised an eyebrow, amused.

“If you agree, then… Maybe it is?”

Ren didn’t quite figure out why the other man had paused, and he tilted his head – beckoning for Akechi to respond…

But he didn’t.

Trying to reassure him, Ren planted a soft kiss on Akechi’s forehead.

“Wanna talk about it before we get married?” He said in a singsong tune.

He laughed.

“...You know what, you’re right." 

Ren's eyes lit up with an immature light, and he let out a choppy laugh.

"Can't hear you."

"...It _is_ weird how it makes you want to spend your whole life with one person.”

It took awhile for Ren to register what he had meant, and within seconds, Ren’s face turned completely red, and he buried himself in Akechi’s shoulders.

“…Dammit, Akechi.” He mumbled affectionately. "You can't just do that..."

The detective simply smiled to himself.

 _...Just because you could._ Ren sighed.

**Author's Note:**

> i cant write domestic fffffff but here we are i tried my best


End file.
